In Aeternum
by girl0interrupted
Summary: Will they ever find a way back home?
1. Hello, Goodbye

"_Oh no, you say goodbye and I say hello, hello, hello,_  
_I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello._  
_I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello."_

* * *

_**Winona, Minnesota**_

A tall, handsome looking man in a suit that probably cost more than her car, opened the heavy wooden doors to reveal the inside of the house.

The man she got to know as Frank Smith, "the dream realtor" had a goofy smile spread all over his face, he looked ridiculous. Joyce figured they didn't have many newcomers to Winona, the poor guy was going crazy trying to leave a good impression.

They spent six hours looking at all sorts of properties, from the more luxurious houses with private pools and whatnot, to the simple cottage-like houses much like the one in front of them was now.

Six hours of searching for the ideal house to call home, though she knew it was going to be a long time before she could call it that.

"This is by far the coziest house you'll ever find in the entire Minnesota."

He then went on babbling about the rich history of the house, who lived there before and why it was now the "hottest property for rent".

Though Frank kept repeating the same things for every home they've seen so far, this one stuck out to Joyce more than any other.

On the outside, it almost looked identical to the one back in Hawkins, except this one didn't have punched in walls and broken windows, the stench of burned monsters and hunting memories.

On the inside, it was bigger compared to the one back in her hometown. It was decorated to her taste with small figurines spread all over the house. There were three smaller bedrooms which she considered perfect for her children and the small couch in the corner of the house overlooking the garden seemed like a great spot for her.

She knew her kids would hate the new place no matter what it looked like, they never wanted to move in the first place, but this house seemed good for new beginnings and her time for leaving was running out.

"Frank" the man turned towards her slightly flabbergasted, he barely even started discussing the house and its many benefits.

"I'll take it"

* * *

**Hawkins, Indiana**

The Byers's front yard has never been so full.

Nancy and Jonathan were embracing each other as he whispered sweet nothings to her, while both were trying not to cry.

"I am going to visit whenever I can, I promise you that much"

He kept repeating over and over again even though he wasn't even sure where they were going. His mom told him it was close, but Joyce always had very bad orientation and he was doubting her expressionless look she carried as she talked about the place where they were moving.

"You better, Jonathan... I am going to miss you"

"Not nearly as much as I'll miss you"

The two were too lost in each other to see Joyce watching them with tears in her eyes and memories of a life she could've had.

"Leaving so soon? You're not even going to have a drink with your favorite conspiracy theorist?"

He offered a bottle of vodka over her head, dangling it in front of her eyes. There was a chirp to his voice and she couldn't believe it, he was drunk.

Murray. She would recognize that voice anywhere. He obviously came to spill another theory of how Jim was alive and just waiting to be found. It was hard enough for her as it was, she didn't need anyone adding fuel to the fire, especially not someone who has seen the same things she did, someone who's been there when Hop died.

He was either an emotional cripple or a very optimistic person, neither helpful in situations like these, because she's never seen someone laugh at the thought of his best friend's death, someone so adamant that Hopper was alive and well that he chose to ignore all logic.

"Can you just please not? Not now, please"

She let the air leave her lungs in a puff, tears previously threatening to fall now already on her pale cheeks. She was about to leave her hometown in half an hour, leave everything she ever knew, just because some psycho scientist decided to play with little children and in the process, unleash supernatural forces of evil.

She was tired of mad scientists and strange theories. All Joyce Byers needed in this very moment was to let go.

She turned on her heels wanting to tell Murray exactly that, but failed to let another word out when she saw the way he looked.

He lost a few pounds since the last time she saw him at the funeral. His hair was more disheveled than ever and his eyes have lost all light. He was chirp, but his look told a different story. Anyone who has ever had insomnia would easily be able to relate to the way Murray looked. He was driving himself crazy.

"You need to go and get some sleep. You need to let go"

"I can't."

It was all he managed to say, her intense staring opening the gates to his soul. He came here with the idea of driving her insane with plausible theories about Jim's whereabouts and maybe make her reconsider moving, or at least postpone it until he could give her a proof, a proof that his best friend and her... whatever, was alive.

It only took one look from her for him to realize it was a stupid notion.

She was leaving, the moving van packed and ready, the kids tearful but full of compassion and understanding. She was hurting, she was afraid for her family, she needed to do well for her kids and for Hopper's kid. She needed to let go and she was asking him to do the same.

He was not an easy man to coexist with, but he was glad to have had Hopper and Joyce (Alexei included) to show him that there was a life beyond theories. They were there when he needed them, when he needed friends. Now it was his time to return the favor, much to his chagrin. He won't stop searching for his friend, but he will leave Joyce out of it.

"I can try"

He shrugged his shoulders and once again, this time nicely, offered Joyce a sip of his Vodka. This time she didn't relent and took a large gulp from it, it was time to say goodbye.

"We have to go"

She yelled across the yard, finally finding her voice and managing to keep it from braking mid-sentence. She didn't look behind to see Murray, he would be gone anyways, he failed in his last attempt to keep her in Hawkins, they all did. There was no going back now.

The kids said they're goodbyes still not sure what exactly was happening. Will and El were crying as they entered the car. Jonathan was clenching his fists, then his jaw, murderous look on his face. Joyce just kept looking ahead, no tears left to cry, no anger, just acceptance.

"I'm sorry"

She carefully whispered as they were passing by the sign that read:

"Leaving Hawkins"

* * *

**Notes: **I do not own Stranger Things, but I do own original characters that show up occasionally. I do hope you enjoy the fiction and please, let me know if I should continue the story! :D


	2. The Twilight Zone

Well, this was somewhat hard to write. Poor baby Hop, I love him to death. Please let me know down bellow what do you think and feel free to make a suggestion, or critique, whatever you feel like.

Disclaimer: Still don't own Stranger Things.

* * *

"_You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension: a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into… the Twilight Zone." The Twilight Zone, Rod Serling_

* * *

**The Upside Down, Unknown**

**1985**

Dreams. The subconscious having a field trip, prophesies, a look into the other side, a simple state of mind. Whatever you decide they represent, that's what they'll be. But what happens when you don't know if you're dreaming, when the border between dreams and reality is so thin you can feel the two being merged together, one sipping into the other, like yin and yang?

He began to gain consciousness. A state of sleep paralysis he couldn't explain. His arms moved, but they didn't. He spoke, but no words came out. He opened his eyes and couldn't see a thing. The images playing in his mind were so vivid, yet he couldn't place them, he was certain to never have lived them in the first place. Could this be awakening or waking up?

He couldn't remember how he got where he was, and his current state wasn't much of a help figuring it out. The last thing remotely familiar were Joyce's eyes filled with tears, the rest was pitch black. There was a hint of stabbing pain at the back of his head, everything else was numb.

_Why couldn't he remember?_

The thought vanished from his mind as soon as it entered and he felt like he was drifting back to his dream state, his existence slowly fading into nothingness.

* * *

**He opened his eyes. **

The room was unlike the one he saw when he was awake (or was he asleep then?), this one was familiar, it was his home. No, not the one back in Hawkins, this was a different home, one he wowed not to visit ever again, not since he lost Sarah.

The bustle of New York city could be heard from the large window in the bedroom, the sunrays sipping through the clear glass.

There was a smell coming from the living room, was it bacon? He shot up from the bed and quickly checked himself before rushing towards the smell of food. He froze at the sight.

Diane was standing by the stove, flipping what he figured was an omelet. She was singing shyly into her chin, bobbing her head, her disheveled, brown hair wrapped in a bun going up and down to the rhythm. Perhaps the most fascinated thing was her smile, he couldn't even recall when was the last time he saw it.

"Diane"

He was trying hard to speak in a normal octave, but the name came out like a confused whisper, almost like a question. He was afraid to talk, he didn't know what was going on.

She moved her attention from the stove and onto him. Her big, brown eyes had a glimmer, shining so bright he had to look away, he missed that look. But, weren't her eyes blue?

He shut the voice in the back of his head as soon as she motioned him to come, one finger on her lips telling him to be quiet. She never once moved her gaze from his and he felt like being physically lifted and pulled towards her until he was finally within arm reach.

"Will you kiss me good morning, or just stare?"

He instinctively moved forward, his arm coming up to cup her cheek, the other one on her waist. He couldn't quite understand what was going on, it's like he moved his body without thinking, like she was somehow controlling him.

The kiss felt foreign at first, like she wasn't the woman he used to kiss for 15 years, but he slowly relaxed into it when she wrapped her arms around him, moving him to stand between her and the kitchen counter. There was something about the kiss that brought another memory in the back of his head and he suddenly had the urge to pull away and make sure he was in fact kissing Diane and not… someone else.

"I missed you" he choked out, tears forming in his ocean eyes.

"You saw me last night, babe"

She kept her voice light, but there was a hint of confusion. They lived together, he never said he missed her with such urgency before, like he hadn't seen her for years.

He was about to ask her what she was talking about but was interrupted by another familiar voice coming from behind, a voice he thought he would never hear again.

"Morning' Papa, Mama"

Sleepy voice of a child, soft and dragged out resonating through the room.

He was frozen, still in Diane's arms, afraid to move for he was sure to fall. His legs were mush, heart beating so fast he thought he might have a heart attack. It was not possible. Was this a dream?

"Sarah…"

* * *

**Winona, Minnesota**

**1986**

She was drifting off, too tired from her double shift at "Target". She appreciated the salary making it possible for her to rent the house and pay the bills without Jonathan's help, but was it worth the fatigue?

She barely had any time nowadays for anything, but the biggest regret she had was not being able to dedicate herself to the kids.

They were still adjusting to the new life. El was having a hard time leading a "power free" life and Will was feeling guilty for the relief he felt being away from the Mind Flayer.

They both missed Hawkins and even though Jonathan would take them there every weekend, it was still hard having to go back to Winona.

This weekend was special though. It was Eleven's real Birthday; she was turning 15. It was such an important age in a girl's life and Joyce wanted to give her the best birthday present ever; she just didn't know what it was.

She knew the girl would be insisting on spending her birthday in Hawkins and as much as the thought of going back there bothered her, she wanted to be there. So, it was decided that this weekend it wouldn't only be the kids to go back, but Joyce as well.

Even in the state of falling asleep, her mind was still filled with thought of Hawkins and what it was going to feel like to be there again, in her old home, with all those memories.

She still couldn't gather up the courage to sell it, she was sure it would take a full day just to clean all the dirt, but at least the kids would be happy and that is all she ever wanted.

Her last thought before letting the tiredness take over was of the place, she used to call home, and strong arms wrapped around her small frame.

* * *

**The Upside Down, Unknown**

**1985**

They were all sitting at the dining table. He still couldn't believe what was happening. His child (his dead child) was sitting on his lap, carelessly munching on the food placed in front of her, her mouth completely covered in grease.

"Jim, are you alright?"

Diane could feel his uneasiness, like she knew something was off. In fact, he was terrified, and though he hid it well, she knew him better.

"This is just so surreal. I thought I lost you, I KNOW I lost you, both of you"

He choked on his words on the last part, overwhelmed by emotions, fear, confusion, so much love.

"What are you talking about? You're not making any sense"

She knew he hasn't been drinking, not since she asked him not to, he didn't hit his head, what was it then? She reached her arm over the table and took his cold one, rubbing her thumb over his.

"Whatever it is, let it go. We're here now, we're home"

We're home.

The words started echoing through the room, spinning, like in a movie. He started losing feeling in his arm where she was holding it, no, he soon realized he was in fact losing her. She was starting to turn to smoke, fading away just like the child sitting on his lap.

_What was going on?_

He couldn't think, the words kept echoing.

"_We're home"_

There was a pattern, he was feeling sick.

"_We're home"_

He began losing consciousness.

"We are home"

**Jim Hopper opened his eyes.**


	3. Going Home

"_And I dream  
That one day  
I'll go back home  
And so it goes  
And so it seems  
That God lives only in our dreams" _

_Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds_

* * *

**The Upside Down, Unknown**

**1985**

"We're home"

**Jim Hopper opened his eyes.**

For a moment he had to question if he was dead or alive, here or there? One moment he was holding his beloved Sarah and the next she was replaced by darkness and a familiar voice echoing through the space. He soon realized that the darkness was just the light being switched off and blinds shut and the "space" he was in was a bedroom, a familiar one none the less, but it wasn't the same one he woke up to the first time around.

This one was much smaller than the ravishing Penthouse bedroom, but had more soul, a warmth he couldn't explain. The bed was much less comfortable though it didn't bother him as much, he has slept on worse. The door was closed, but he could hear the voices now very clearly, two of them and they were getting closer. Jim jumped as the doors slammed open revealing a slightly angry teenager.

"Dad get up already! It's already past noon, what's wrong with you?!"

Eleven, his Eleven. She was different somehow, looked a couple of years older, and he judged that just from the length of her wavy hair going past her shoulder. Her "angry face" was still on point though. Just as he was about to make a comment, or at least try given the confusion he was feeling, another face showed up from behind angry child.

"Seriously Jim. Of all days you could sleep in you chose the one when your son is coming home from college for a visit"

Joyce was far less fussy than the girl standing above his bed with red in the face, after all, she was also much older and knew the importance of being calm, even when she was pissed. Jane was nothing like her, all Hopper.

Was this a sick joke? Did he hit his head and was now somehow in the dreamworld of some sort? _Dream world… parallel universe… could it really be? _The thought escaped as soon as it came, this seemed to be happening a lot lately to Jim, but given the circumstances, he couldn't really bother to focus on that now.

"Joyce, El, what are you talking ab…"

He was cut off by Jane's face getting impossibly close to his with eyes wide open, she was going to be one hell of a good detective one day, he was sure of it as he watched her try to intimidate him. Jim was now sitting up, his back leaning on the rusty headboard, legs spread in front of him. Jane was standing above him with back arched to be able to perform her interrogation role to perfection, she might as well be an actress too.

"Who's El?"

It wasn't until he turned his head to his left, mock avoiding Eleven's stare, pretending like he really was afraid of her, that he saw the photos. Bunch of them placed neatly in frames on the nightstand, there were even some on the wall, he wondered how he hadn't noticed them earlier.

He was barely on them, mostly Jonathan when he was younger and one when he arrived at NYU, Will and El with their friends and one with Joyce and the family dog, but there was one photo that confused him the most. It was the only one with him on it, him and Joyce, at their wedding.

That's when he finally started realizing things. He released the loudest, most schizophrenic belly laugh, the kind neither Jane nor

"Oh, I get it now! Wow, you guys really went through the trouble, did you now? Joyce, I can't believe you would let the kids put you up to this, I thought you were more mature than this"

He knew that Joyce knew he liked her very much and to think that she was using that and making fun of his feeling, it was funny.

And what he found even more comical than it should be… he was a cop, he should've realized it was all just an act from the moment he saw El entering the room. Eleven apparently enjoyed the prank more than anyone else, he really believed her for a moment there. And come on, he felt stupid for not realizing it was all just a big joke from the moment he saw Joyce being calm, he has never seen her calm, ever.

"I have to say, you really got me there with the manipulated photos and the calmness of it all, you really did!"

He was still trying to control his laughter, so much so he failed to notice how worried Joyce looked and Jane's suddenly very confused stare. If anyone was a lunatic in the family it would probably be Jane herself, but they have never seen Jim like this before either. For Joyce and Jane, this was a new side to the usually composed father of three and a sweetheart-turned-husband.

"Come on, Mike, Dustin, guys, you can come out now from wherever you are. You did it, you screwed me over"

Jim kept on talking, now standing on his knees in the middle of the bed and delivering the worst rambling speech, just repeating the same sentences again and again. He was getting more and more emotional; this whole ordeal was getting to him and what seemed like a wholehearted laugh was slowly turning into a panic attack.

He recalled the "dream" he had, one with Sarah and Diane and how real it seemed. He could feel Sarah's little arm touching his and then he woke up to this? The kids couldn't have chosen the worse time to roleplay. His train of thought was interrupted when he saw Joyce ushering now worried Eleven out of the room and softly closing the door careful not to set anything else off in Jim.

She slowly approached the man with a serious panic attack, that's the only way she could define it. She climbed on the bed, her pose matching his and tried reaching for his cheek, but changed her mind leaving her hand in mid-air right between them.

"Jim, I need you to calm down"

He was breathing heavily, each breath more painful than the other, heart bursting from his chest while his eyes just kept losing the blue. It was more than a panic attack, it was just like back in Vietnam, the feeling of hopelessness and the insanity taking over his being. He didn't see Joyce, he saw a vague figure reaching for him, he saw Death.

He reached for her hand, but she was faster, catching his instead and holding it tightly. He was strong, but living with the guy since she was 20, Joyce knew how to calm him down, just keep trying until it works. He tried to shake the hand of Death holding him, use his other hand, his body, anything to get away from this blurry entity, but the hold was too strong.

"Get away from me, you are not Joyce, you are not her"

He kept repeating in a broken whisper. She wasn't his wife and they had no kids, that he was certain of and no matter how much he thought about that in the past, he knew it was either a sick joke or yet another dream.

Though his every word made her heart hurt, Joyce knew this was just a reaction to perhaps a nightmare, or reminiscing of painful memories from Vietnam, definitely nothing to be concerned about, yet the whole process of calming him down made her nerves rocket as well, so before she could lose it, Joyce used all her strength to pull his hand and place it on her chest where her heart was beating at a surprisingly steady pace.

"I am Joyce Hopper, and I love You"

She whispered, finally emptying the pool of tears she was holding in, letting them fall freely down her pale face, leaving blurry marks behind.

"I love you, James Hopper"

And there it was. That sudden, yet familiar spinning in his head, the nausea, the feeling of waking up from a dream or a nightmare. _Not again_, he thought as his body started giving away, body falling forwards. The last thing he could feel were Joyce's hands wrapped around his torso as he finally fell into nothingness. Maybe she really was Death and he was just going home.

* * *

What do you think? :D


	4. Let It Go

_"I been caught sideways out here on the crossroads_  
_Tryin' to buy back the pieces I lost of my soul_  
_It's hard when the devil won't get off your back_  
_It's like carryin' around the past in a hundred pound sack"_

_Tim McGraw_

* * *

**Winona, Minnesota**

**1986**

She woke up to another ringing in her head, it was surprising to her how it didn't come from another headache, but in fact the alarm that had managed to fall of the nightstand during the night and right next to her pillow. _I get it, it's 8am! _She screamed at it while she held it in her (still weak from sleep) hands.

If anyone could see Joyce Byers now, they would think she went even crazier after moving from Hawkins. Luckily, people here didn't know much about her or her children. Over here they were your typical American family and Joyce was completely okay with that. There were no monsters and no evil scientists, just a single mom raising three children.

"Shit, the kids!"

Joyce said out loud before rushing out of the bedroom, wrapping the robe she picked up from the floor around her slender figure in the process. How could she have allowed herself to forget? It was Friday, she needed to wake the kids up, they were already running late judging from the clock once again ringing, making her even guiltier.

What kind of a mother sends her children to school without food? Not the good kind. Damn those double shifts!

It wasn't until her feet hit the cold kitchen tiles that she saw the calendar hanging loosely from the wall, mocking her, the date circled with bright red crayon… it was Saturday. The kids weren't home, they weren't even in Minnesota.

She slumped down on one of the chairs at the counter. Saturdays were Hawkins days, one thing she kept forgetting and much to Joyce's chagrin there was nothing she could do to stop it.

She did try, at first, always finding excuses to somehow avoid taking them. It was either settling down, or homework that needed to be finished, or something else, usually completely unnecessary, but she wanted so hard for them to give Winona a chance, it only made her look even more selfish in their eyes and she didn't even notice the kids slowly retreating from her.

She was no longer the 'best mom in the world', she was just 'meh'.

* * *

**1985**

Jonathan was the one who took them the first time. It was two weeks after moving to Winona and the kids were miserable. Joyce promised she would take them, but something "just came up, Jonathan".

He was getting tired of seeing his brother and El heartbroken, so he took matters into his own hands. He knew how to get there, he knew how to drive, nothing was stopping him. Well, Joyce would sure be worried sick, but maybe this was the only way to make her realize she can't forever decide what's best for all of them, because the BEST thing to do isn't usually the RIGHT thing to do.

So, he burst into the kids' room and told them to "pack up, we're going to see your friends". The widest smile he's ever seen came from both Will and El who was already pushing past him to get her sparkly backpack. There was nothing in the world that could compare to the feeling he had when he saw them happy and Jonathan realized no matter what, he would always strive to keep that smile on both their faces.

Joyce didn't know anything about them leaving, thought that the kids were spending the day making new friends while she was working another double at Target.

It was Karen's call at 7pm on a Saturday that made her heart skip a beat 'it was so nice of Jonathan to bring the kids over for the day, what a nice man you raised Joyce', that's what she managed to say before Joyce dropped the phone and rushed to the backroom trying to catch her breath.

She didn't need to hear anything else, everything was clear as a day, Jonathan was spiraling and she failed to notice that, she was a bad mother, a selfish mother and all she could do in that very moment was slump down the shelf with hands holding her head, soft cries escaping from her mouth, this was all her fault.

It was the first breakdown she had after a long time.

* * *

The second one came soon after, when the kids returned late in the evening with smiles on their faces and a skip in their walk. It was around 2am by the time they showed up at the front-yard of the new Byers house, though it seemed to Joyce like it took forever.

Joyce made sure to give the kids a side look, but ushered them to their room because she knew that even though they probably jumped in excitement at the idea of going back to Hawkins to see everyone, it was Jonathan who had the audacity to take her car and without so much as a call disappear to one of the most dangerous towns in all of the US.

Despite her rage, she knew that the only way she could understand what happened was to remain collected and calm, so she motioned for Jonathan to take a seat across from her on the couch.

He on the other hand didn't feel like being quite so calm. This was always her tactic, kill them with kindness. He was tired of it.

"They miss their home and so do I"

He screamed at her before she even had a chance to see it coming, she flinched a little at his sudden outburst, it was so Lonnie like. He got up and started pacing around the room.

He was sure Joyce couldn't understand how hard it was for him to let go of Nancy, to see her only when Joyce thought it was appropriate to visit Hawkins. She couldn't understand how much he missed his screwed up, monster filled, unsafe hole of a town, it was his home despite everything.

She didn't even bother to acknowledge how much he missed Hopper, a father he never had but always wanted, the man who was now dead, buried six feet underground, no chance of ever being magically resurrected.

"I got you out of there so you could be safe!"

She stayed calm; anger replaced by a fear she couldn't quite understand (well she could but didn't want to admit to it).

Oh, how badly she wanted to believe she did this only for the kids, so they could be safe, but they already felt safe enough with their friends close, place they knew like they knew their ABC's. It's easy to hide when you know every nook, every shortcut.

Here, they didn't have anything but a guarantee that no Demogorgon would ever attack them, but even that was a question to be explored.

The truth was she was the one feeling unsafe, lost, powerless, all because she had lost her rock, the one person that kept HER safe.

"No, mom… You were being selfish"

Jonathan yelled at her, hurt by the fact she knew he was right, but was too headstrong to acknowledge her mistake.

He tripped on the rush to his bedroom after that, not bothering to continue whatever conversation she thought they were having, leaving a very dumfounded Joyce in the middle of the living room, slowly starting to shake from the oncoming cries, preparing her for another anxiety attack she did not need nor want in that moment.

She tried laying down, but her body did its own thing, another rush of cries escaping her lips for the second time that day.

* * *

Joyce Byers spent that entire night thinking about the past couple of months and how while trying to forget the bad she also started forgetting the good, how she refused to acknowledge the kids' pain, but also her own, how while trying to get away from her demons she lost herself, everything that was making her a strong, independent woman.

It was time to stop being afraid and Joyce promised herself she would do just that, face her demons after running away for longer than she wanted.

It was going to take time, but for starters, she decided to at least allow the kids to visit Hawkins (if she doesn't have to take them) every weekend.

That way she could have time to figure herself out and give them enough space to enjoy their time with their friends, a home away from home, a family.

* * *

More? I really hope you like the story guys!


	5. Welcome To Hawkins

Notes:

Okay guys, in this one we kind of jumped to chapter two and chapter three, if you haven't noticed the timeline is very weird right now, but it will all make sense soon.

This is a short one, but trust me it'll all be worth the wait.

I really hope you leave some kind of a feedback and let me know what you think, shall I continue posting the chapters?

* * *

_Today, I'm gonna keep on walkin'_  
_I'm gonna hold my head up high_  
_Today, I'm gonna stand out in the rain_  
_Let it wash it all away, yeah, wash it all away_  
_I'm gonna let it go._

_Tim McGraw_

* * *

**Winona, Minnesota**

**1986**

"Are you serious?"

Eleven couldn't be more excited. Just like Joyce anticipated the girl was jumping up and down knowing that she'll be spending her 15th birthday in Hawkins with all of her friends and even Joyce.

"This is the best! I have to start packing"

She didn't even give enough time for Joyce to say another word, the girl was already passing to her room to choose all the best outfits she owned and figure out how she'll do her hair and makeup. The girl was growing up so fast, it was kind of scary.

It was a huge step for Joyce too, to allow spending the entire weekend not only in Hawkins, but also at the old house.

Of course, the house required some work, but Joyce couldn't allow herself to bother Karen by staying at the Wheeler's, she was never the one to impose herself.

Instead, she all but ordered Jonathan and Nancy to go and get the house together before Saturday. She knew the two would occasionally use it as their love nest whenever Jonathan would come visit, so the punishment for their wicked ways included lots of cleaning.

They were so sure she wouldn't figure it out, but they didn't know one very important thing, she was Detective Byers and nothing could go past her.

Joyce spent the entire Friday packing her small suitcase much like her daughter (that's what she was for the public). She wasn't sure what would be appropriate for a weekend getaway. Since moving away, she found herself buying more colorful clothes, light flowy dresses and T- shirts that actually fitted her, it was mostly to fit in with the rest who lived in Winona.

She had a better job and standard there was surprisingly low, so she could afford pretty much anything she needed.

Jonathan was working, building score for NYU, but all the money he earned usually went on fuel and buying Nancy stuffed animals, it was fine, their finances were better than ever.

Joyce didn't want to look like some of the people from her high school back in Hawkins. Prancing around, telling people how good she was doing. She wasn't that person and her life wasn't perfect, though some may think so.

Despite bigger paychecks there were longer shifts at "Target" that she couldn't just leave like she could back in Melvald's.

Despite her flowy dresses, she was still that kid who loved her Levi's and Converse more than anything.

The main reason she was packing for so long was an effort to postpone everything, to change her mind and say she was not going, to put back her new clothes, let the walls stay intact, but all of that would be just another reason for El to feel sad and Joyce didn't want to do that to the girl she loved so much.

This whole trip to Hawkins was to make Saturday, 8th of March the greatest day in the girl's life and Joyce knew her own issues were not welcomed there, so she quickly tossed the first pieces of clothing she could find in the closet and closed her over-packed suitcase before moving on to do her night-time routine.

Tomorrow was all about Eleven.

* * *

**Hawkins, Indiana **

**Saturday, March 8****th**** 1986**

The road to Hawkins wasn't as long as Joyce hoped it would be. The only time she really drove from Hawkins to Winona was last year when she moved away so in her mind it was hard to imagine the time it would take to get to a place, she used to call home.

Eleven kept jumping around the car slightly getting on everyone's nerves, but it was her birthday so everyone had to suck it up. Even Will wasn't as excited, but that was mostly because he knew Joyce was having a hard time, of all the kids he was the only one close enough to his mother to know how hard it was for her to be going back.

The thing about Will is that he was always the perceptive one, but being the weirdest of all of his friends nobody really took him seriously, even when he was making sense. Maybe that's why he was the one chosen to venture into the Upside Down, he saw things many couldn't, he felt them deeply.

That's why he knew that the reason Joyce was so cautious of Hawkins wasn't because she was scared for her safety or the safety of her kids, it was because she needed to face the one thing she kept running away from, she had to face the fact that she won't find Jim Hopper there.

That's why while they were driving, he kept glancing at his mother, worry painted over his face. This time he was the adult and she was the lost child looking for help and it was his turn to make her feel better.

Jonathan knew all the things Will did, but kept it all well-hidden.

Hopper was like a father to him, always there to give him advice on how to get the girl or fix something in the house and even though Joyce never knew about it, Jonathan swore she could feel his changing behavior.

He was getting less aggressive and more receptive to the changes in life. Jim literally fixed Jonathan's relationship with his mother and made a better man out of him, and Jonathan was the one who had all the rights to be pissed at whatever God took Jim away, but there were far more important things in life than crashing and burning everything around just because life was cruel.

He needed to stay focused, Jim would've wanted that of him.

"Here we go"

Joyce's unenthusiastic voice resonated so many emotions, most of all, sadness. It's like the sadness she felt when she was leaving was nothing compared to the sadness she felt in that moment when she read the sign that read:

**Welcome to Hawkins**


	6. Upside Down

Notes:

I took a part of monologue from the novel "A Scanner Darkly" ("What does a scanner see") and used it in the first part of this chapter, kind of had to, it's my favorite novel.

Disclaimer: I do not own "A Scanner Darkly" or anything related to the novel brilliantly written by Phillip K. Dick, nor do I own "Stranger Things"

* * *

**Journal Entry from Hawkins**

**Saturday, 8****th**** March 1986**

_The moment I entered the house chills went up my back. It looked exactly how I left it, it's like not a day went by and it's actually been over 6 months. Now I know Jonathan and Nancy kept it 'clean', it's still seemed so surreal. _

_I never imagined being back here ever, when I decided to move it was supposed to be permanent and mind you, I still don't understand what kept me from selling it. _

_Sure, it has memories of my boys growing up, their first steps, the marks on the door frame showing how much they've grown over the years, but I don't think it was that. Maybe subconsciously I knew that I'd be back, the victim always goes back to the place where it all happened, at least I heard people say something like that._

_I know it sounds weird but it's like I can feel the energy of this place, the toxicity of it. Each corner reminds me of those nights, terrible horror movies I lived through, waking up screaming, begging for it to all go away. _

_At times I feel selfish, it's like I don't acknowledge that the kids went through the same strange things, but they are so resilient, they think that all of this is just a game like their Dungeons and Dragons, sadly it's not._

_Sometimes, I really do wonder what they see, do they see clearly or darkly? Of course, they see clearly, they're just kids, seems like I'm the one who keeps forgetting that. When I'm alone with my thoughts I'm jealous of the way they handle everything that has happened. _

_I'm the one who can't see into myself, can't recover from the losses and the heartache. I've never been like this, but I have no one to talk too, I'm alone._

* * *

**Upside Down, Unknown**

**1986**

He woke up, this time in the same room he found himself in before all the weird dreams he had, except this time around he could feel everything and it was hurting, from his head to his feet. Moving was not even a thought, the only thing he could move was his neck, left and right, barely.

The room was dark, smelled of sulfur, the kind he used in Chemistry classes back when he was in High School. It didn't seem like he was in a house, it was more like infinite darkness all around him. The floor was cold, not made from any familiar material, but he did notice it had a layer of water flowing without a particular direction, left and right, up and down. Up and Down?

His head was buzzing, it must've been from all the dreams or better yet nightmares he had the previous night, or was it day? His Perception of time and space was a little muddled.

It took him a solid moment before it finally hit him. It was sudden, all of his real memories coming back in a rush, making him see double, he was starting to feel nauseous.

Him fighting the Russian guy, machine exploding, him jumping into the portal to survive, Joyce's pained look. He remembered it all.

It was unbearable, all those memories coming up all at once, no wonder he was feeling beat up, it all made sense now.

The dreams he had, they were all a part of transitioning into the Upside Down, was it like this for everyone?

He found it funny how in a way it was true what people said about life flashing before your eyes as you slowly die, he just didn't understand how he ended up being married to Joyce, probably a brain damage or something.

His laugh didn't do much but make him cough, which only resulted in him having to turn to his side in order not to empty his stomach's content on himself, it was that nausea taking full force.

He realized he really was in the Upside Down, but where exactly? Jim knew he'd need to get up or at least try to if he ever planned on finding the answer to his question, but he couldn't muster up the strength.

_What's the point of surviving if you'll just end up dying here? _

He whispered to himself before laughing at how stupid his decision was. Jumping into the portal while full well knowing it was the most dangerous world filled with monsters and evil beings trying to kill him multiple times seemed like a far worse death than dying in an explosion, the second was a much faster way to go.

It took him hours to finally make a move, though in the Upside Down, he realized time didn't really exist.

Jim turned to his side a bit more, careful not to land on the puke he just spewed all over the moist ground. His elbow was supporting his entire body as he slowly started rising from the ground. He couldn't quite stand up, he was slouching, the weight being too much for his legs to carry at the moment, but even that was certainly a success after all he's been through.

Jim Hopper started looking around. It was the same room Eleven kept describing to him every time she would enter the Upside Down he figured that much, she called it the Void. It was a place where lost could be found and imagination be turned to reality. It was the first step to entering the Upside Down, a purgatory.

He knew that as much as this place looked safe, it had many secrets, ones he didn't want to uncover, especially not while being this weak even Jim knew better than that.

The next step would be finding a way out of the Void and into the actual Upside Down, maybe there he would be able to gather his strength and even weapons to fight whatever monsters he needed to and maybe then, he would be able to start looking for ways to contact someone from his world, someone who hopefully decided to stay.

* * *

**Hawkins, Indiana**

**Saturday, 8****th**** March 1986**

The day dragged itself along. Will was helping El prepare the house for the party, decorating it with colorful balloons and little flags they've previously bought at Melvald's, while Joyce was baking a cake.

It was El's favorite- triple Eggo extravaganza with chocolate chip and cream, a new invention, a combination of Hopper's favorite mixed with El's, the only desert she would eat.

While Joyce was baking, she couldn't shake off the weird feeling she was having, but definitely felt slightly better since she wrote in her journal. It was a long time before she took out that old dusty book, the only time she would actually do it would be when she had really good days or really bad ones, this one was a mix of both.

She was happy to be a part of Eleven's life, the girl lived through many bad things and it was a miracle she was holding herself together. This was her first real birthday celebration and she would be celebrating it without the most important person, Hop.

She tried so many times to contact him, to activate her powers, but failed every time. It broke Joyce's heart to see the girl so lost, powerless after a lifetime of having powers. But she was always better when around her friends, they brought new light to her, she was smiling whenever she was around Mike.

Young love. Joyce knew exactly what it felt like, it was thrilling. That anticipation that brought new questions every day.

Will he kiss me? Won't he? Who would be the one to make the first step? Who would invite who to Senior Prom?

It was always him.

"Mom"

Her thought were interrupted when Will entered the kitchen covered in pink glitter. She couldn't help but laugh at her son's appearance.

"What happened to you?"

She kept laughing as she put the mixing bowl on the kitchen counter and went to soak the cloth to wipe Will's face, make it possible for him to at least see clearly.

"Eleven decided to throw glitter around the house, I tried to stop her so it all ended up landing on me, can you tell her to stop?"

This was the first time Joyce Byers saw her younger son angry. his face was red end eyes bloodshot, in that very moment he looked so much like his father, one thing she was most concerned with.

"Hey buddy, come on, why would I do that? She is just excited for her birthday"

Joyce could see that the glitter wasn't the problem, or even El's excitement, there was something else bothering Will, so like any good mother, she pointed him to the chair at the dining room and went to sit across from him pulling her chair so that she could almost whisper.

"What is really going on?"

He had trouble finding the right words, it's not like he really knew what he wanted to say, his feelings were mixed and he didn't want to cause Joyce more issues, so he tried to explain his thoughts the simplest way possible.

"It's just that... I know how much you hate being here and it's like nobody even cares. Jonathan is off with Nancy buying food for the PARTY, Eleven's decorating the house for the PARTY, it's like we never left, like nothing ever happened, everyone moving on, let's just PARTY! It's not fair!"

It wasn't fair. But when has ever life been fair to the Byers household? When there weren't monsters to fight there was Lonnie, and when there wasn't Lonnie there were debts, it was always something new to throw Joyce off her heat, the only person who could bring her back was now dead.

"And she, she is all happy that her boyfriend will be here any moment for her big day, she doesn't even care that Hop is gone, it's like she forgot he ever existed. All that matters now is her PARTY"

He was crossing the line, but anger will do that to a person. Will actually felt like that deep inside, like everyone forgot about what happened to Hopper, even his own daughter. No one ever talked about him and he felt like his memory was lost, it was not fair!

"Don't say that buddy, you know that is not true"

She rose from her chair to hug her little boy who was now shaking from the intence anger running through his veins, it was only a matter of time before he would start crying. She herself felt hurt by his words, but knew it was only coming from a place of grief, pain that was hitting him all at once.

She held him tight as her shoulder became wet from the waterfall leaving his big eyes, Joyce wanted to fall apart herself, maybe this trip to Hawkins really was a bad idea.

What they failed to notice as they held each other was El, standing just close enough to the kitchen entrance to hear the conversation, tears of her own threatening to spill, she needed air. Without another thought, she quietly left the Byers house and went towards the place she called her REAL home, the cabin in the woods.

* * *

**Upside Down, Unknown**

**1986**

He wasn't sure for how long he's been walking, but it was getting easier and easier to do so. The Void was a huge place and while he had no super powers, he could feel the place like it was alive. He thought that maybe he was a super human like El for a moment because he was almost sure he heard her voice somewhere in the distance, but maybe it was just the Void playing tricks on him.

The sudden thud he felt as he hit what seemed to be a wall with his entire body was enough to earn him another brain damage, was this finally the end to the Void? Maybe, but how do you tear down the entire wall with just your hands? It's not like he was a superhero.

Hopper needed time to think. If this was a never ending place, then this must be an exit of some sort, he just needed to figure out what kind. It wasn't a walk-through type of a thing and it most certainly had no knob to push. El would know how to open it. He tried remembering their conversations back when he was just learning about the Upside Down.

"_I just close my eyes while being in the Void and when I open them again, I am exactly where my mind wanted me to be, but it does take a lot of energy."_

He recalled her words like she was talking to him right then and decided he had nothing to lose, he had alll eternity to keep trying.

Hopper thought for a while... what place would he want to see first? His cabin? He knew it was in shambles, but maybe a part of it still stood tall and proud, kind of like him right now.

Would he want to see if Joyce was still in Hawkins? He was afraid of the answer so it was a no.

What about Murray? The person who would sure find it plausible that Hop was still alive somewhere, though he'd probably think he was held in a Russian prison or something, that would be a great plot twist.

_I'm not dead, just held in a Russian prison._

He laughed as he closed his eyes thinking of how crazy that theory would be, it's not like Ruskies even bothered opening another portal, Hawkins was the only place they could do it and it would take years to fix the machine him and Joyce destroyed.

When Jim Hopper opened his eyes, he couldn't believe them. He was standing face to face with no other than Dr. Brenner.

"Hello Chief, we've been expecting you"

* * *

Plot twist!

Two for one, feeling lucky yet?

Comment if you think I should continue. :D

I can't hope only to be heartbroken again. I'm sorry Murray but if you're right you'll have to do this without me. I tried to save the world once and I lost probably the most important person in my life besides my kids and I'm not doing it again because I have very little left and I'm not about to lose that to.


	7. Undercover

OK I hated the idea of Russian prison, so this is where things go a little bit AU. The whole idea of Brenner being alive made sense to me only if he was somehow helping the Russians instead of being the one trapped... but now I'm spoiling everything so I'm going to shut up and let you read the chapter.

Also, thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my story. You have no idea how much it means to me!

* * *

"_Caught up in the undertow _

_Takes me from what I never had_

_Back to what I'll know_

_Now I'm left __**undercover"**_

* * *

**The Secret Facility, Russia**

**March 8****th**** 1986**

"Is he conscious yet?"

Dr. Brenner rose from his leather seat behind the over-sized marble table that stood in the middle of his office and turned his back facing the glass window.

"Yes, but he can barely do anything yet, our best scientists are examining him still"

One of the soldiers standing behind him in their massive uniforms spoke in a thick Russian accent. His voice was deep and scary but it didn't frighten Brenner, two years of being in a Russian science facility would do that to you.

The truth was Brenner was aware that no matter how much the Russians wanted to kill him or get rid of him, they also needed him to keep the portal he created in Russia stable, the Russians couldn't risk another fiasco like the one in Hawkins the previous year.

Of course, back then he kept telling them it was a stupid idea. If anyone was aware of how hard it was to keep a portal open in Hawkins it was doctor Brenner, but apparently the Russians didn't really trust him enough back then too listen and that's why this time around they knew better.

"You tell me when they're finished, I have so much to talk about with our chief"

The mischievous grin plastered all over his face could be seen in the window reflection, and the skip in his voice almost made it sound like Brenner was excited, exhilarated even for his new guest- the American.

* * *

**The Void, Upside Down**

**1983**

He woke up. The place he found himself in was dark, but he could guess where he was. After years of research he would be a fool not to recognize it, it was a part of Eleven's Upside Down, the Void.

Dr. Brenner knew almost everything there was to this place and even though he couldn't quite understand why he found himself in it, he was also kind of excited.

It was a first-hand look at his work, place he spent his whole life trying to find with the help of his many scientists and subjects, one without common sense, where everything was opposite to the place, he was living in.

It was his life's mission and Dr. Brenner couldn't have been prouder of himself, despite the aching pain he felt all over his body. This was all worth it.

He rose up from the ground he was lying on. It was hard given the dark bruises he had forming on his arms and legs, but doctor Brenner was resilient, there was nothing that could stop him from achieving his goal, and right now the goal was finding the gate to the real Upside Down.

_We got her out of the tank at 5:15pm and she entered at 2pm, but when we asked her about how long she's been there the subject couldn't give a clear answer. It seems like we don't really know yet how or if time and space coexist in this new 'world'._

He remembered one of his subordinates telling him about the Time in the Upside Down as he kept walking through the Void. There was all the time in the world to find the gate, and he would do it no matter what.

Dr. Brenner smiled to himself as he reached what looked to be a way out, a small opening in the sea of darkness, almost begging him to go through it. Yes, he was a very lucky man and he still had no idea just how much.

* * *

**The Secret Facility, Russia**

**1986**

Hopper woke up laying on what seemed to be some sort of a soft material chair, but that wasn't the weird part. The weird part was that he woke up tied to it, his hands and legs restricted by metal clutches and his torso kept from moving with a leather belt.

It all looked very asylum-like to him, but then again maybe he was crazy, after all he did see a dead man walking just couple moments before he passed out and maybe his scroll through the Void was also a product of his insanity. Jim was starting to question everything.

What if he really was in some kind of an asylum, it wouldn't be impossible especially not after everything that happened to him since he was like 17, but then again it didn't really make any sense considering the timeline with his wife and his kid and Joyce, he just wished it wasn't all a part of his imagination.

He heard the door he hadn't noticed before creek open and when he turned his head (as much as he could), he felt the need to pass out again.

"Look who decided to join the land of the living, welcome back Mr. Hopper"

Brenner walked in wearing his familiar white lab coat, but what really concerned Hopper was a giant syringe he was holding. This was ought to be a lot more dangerous than the Upside Down, Jim thought, but hey, at least he wasn't crazy.

"Well, considering you're here I'm not really sure how this happens to be the land of the living, but sure, guess I'm not really in the position to argue here now, am I?"

Hopper couldn't help but laugh at his current state. Not only did he spend God knows how much time in the Void, but he was now also facing the person he thought was long gone, dead, eaten by a monster.

This in a way, was a very funny predicament, one he could not foresee in a million years, Brenner standing above his helpless for about to inject whatever dangerous substance he was holding, probably making Hopper yet another experiment.

"I would really like to know what's so funny"

Brenner adjusted Hopper's chair so that he could get a better position, he brought the stool next to his lying form and started concocting the liquid for the injection.

"Oh nothing"

Jim couldn't help the panicked laughs that kept leaving his mouth, but continued anyways.

"Just that after everything I've been through, I'm about to die (or worse) at the hands of the person I didn't really consider as a threat ever, it's really funny."

At Hopper's suggestion, Brenner removed the syringe and placed it on the table nearby. Truth be told he was slightly intrigued by Hopper.

"You're not about to die, Mr. Hopper, no. I have a much merciful fate to propose. Who knows, maybe you'll even like it"

Hopper highly doubted he would like the offer Brenner had up his sleeve, but it's like not like he was going anywhere so he thought he could waste some more of his time by listening to what the crazy scientist had to suggest.

"I doubt it, but come on, what do you suggest?"

There was something about Jim Hopper that really fascinated Martin Brenner. He wasn't the type of a guy to back out from a fight, a conversation or even a girl. He saw a lot of himself in Jim; the determined mind, the un based confidence and a damn fine manipulation skill.

That's why he didn't exactly find Hopper's unfazed behavior concerning, he was expecting it, but deep down he knew Hop was not quite ready to die just yet, why else would he chose jumping through the portal when the machine exploded instead of dying?

"You see, in my hands I have a concoction that will turn you into a plant, kind of like Terry Ives. It's going to make you lose your mind, make you wish you were dead, that is of course if you chose to not cooperate, but..."

He placed the vial of now glowing green liquid on the table next to the syringe.

"If you chose to help me and my friends, I may just let you live, heck, even go back to your friends"

Martin Brenner got impossibly close to Jim's face; he could feel the stench of Vodka coming out of his mouth. He made sure to do so in the classic intimidation manner Jim has learned about while at the academy. Both hands placed on either side of the chair and eyes wide, textbook intimidation.

"You tell me where Eleven is and help me create a portal to Hawkins, and I let you go. You disobey and I make you wish you were dead."

Jim kept looking up at Brenner, his eyes on him staring intently just as much as Brenner was at his. Jim's voice was suddenly incredibly threatening even though he was about to ask a question.

"How do I know you're not lying?"

Suddenly the metal holding Hopper's legs and hands was unlocked and the belt unlocked itself so that Jim was completely free to move again, though he was still quite woozy from all the shock he endured in the past who knows how long.

"I'm a man of my word Mr. Hopper, and you proved to be one many times, are you still that man?"

In that moment Hopper had two choices. He could've either tried to harm Brenner, but knew he was still far too weak to face whatever or whoever was at the other end of the door, or he could've agreed to help the scientist and stay alive.

He knew there was so much to lose, but there was no helping Eleven or anyone else if he was dead. Hopper knew what Brenner wanted now; he was at the advantage compared to everyone in Hawkins who still think they're safe.

It was time for Hop to make his secret agent fantasies become actual reality and he was so ready for it.

"Well Martin, seems like I am"

"Then we have a deal"


End file.
